The hero woke up to the sound of a growling beast.
It lay right next to his ear, its primal call for nourishment tearing him from a fitful sleep.
With the ingrained reaction of a long-time survivor, he lept out of his resting place, valiantly donning the breeches of the morning sun as he threw the sheet of sleep over the beast so that it may be slowed for a short time.
On stealthy feet he snuck down the stairs of creaking, ever wary of waking the beast prematurely. It was his duty to make sure that it was sated and content every day, so that it may not torment the world any more than absolutely necessary – and he would not fail!
The stairs of creaking were bested – for now – and he entered the hunting grounds. It was time to gather the ingredients for the spellwork that would calm the beast.
But first, he placed the black disc of fire’s kiss upon the flames, so that it may heat and he filled it with oil gained from the Olea europaea.
He opened the enchanted box of cooling, so as to obtain the cured meat of the terrible Sus scrofa domesticus, placing it onto the disc.Five eggs of the elusive Gallus gallus domesticus would serve well, as well. Shattering them, he dropped them onto the disc after the meat had already begun to take the proper colour.
As he kept the disc moving, he removed the milk of the unstoppable Bos primigenius, which he heated in a kettle upon another flame he conjured with the turn of a disc.
Adding shavings of the delicious food made from the beans of the vaunted Theobroma cacao, he stirred the mix as he flipped the eggs and the meat upside down.
From above, he could hear the beast rising from its sleep, its hungry groans and shouts spuring him to work faster than ever.
Now for the hardest part – wresting the silver from the drawer of crushed fingers, he arranged it on the altar of sacrifice, where the beast would feed, making sure that it was arranged so as to fit the ancient customs.
Finally, he placed the delicious browned milk into a cup of holding, and the eggs and meat onto a plate of feeding, just as the beast staggered into the hunting grounds in its robe of waking.
“Bacon, eggs and hot chocolate, as you like it, Amy!”
Sometimes, Basil’s imagination gets carried away…
don’t worry, there is a proper chapter coming up. just had to get this out of my system
and before anyone asks: this is canon
You crack me up xP
Wish more series would have canon like this.
read The Dresden Files. I got most of my education in humor from them
Okay, this chapter was really cute.
As a side note, I started reading Legion of Nothing since you linked to it. I have to say that so far, I’ve found your writing much more engaging. Nothing against that author, just your story draws me in really well.
wow, thank you. I’m blushing :-$
I also like this better.
Yeah do you guys no Worm? That serial novel about Taylor/Crawler/Kepri(oops -_- ) Yeah she’s the girl that can control simple minded creatures and other things, (hint hint). I found this story out ranking Worm. If you like this I recommend it. I love the character though. And I have a question about the rating scale. In worm and various other books they use 1-12 In this book is it 1-10? And what level actually is Brennus? I would guess at least 9 He seems powerful in comparison to the other capes.
me and about 90% of my readers are worm fans. I actually got started thanks to worm, and wildbow was so nice to put a link to my story on his page, giving me my first batch of readers
I thought this was hilarious. Especially wresting the silver from the drawer of crushed fingers. That line really cracked me up.
Also, I found this after reading both Legion of Nothing, and Worm. I place you between the two in terms of enjoyment I got from the story.
thank you very much^^ glad to her that you enjoy my work
“donning the breaches”
breeches are pants, breaches are breaks through fortifications
I think you mean pants. Not 100% sure though
From above, he could hear the beast rising from its sleep, its hungry groans and shouts spuring him to work faster than ever. – spurring