Neither Beast nor Beauty in this

Working on the new Dreaming chapter right now, but there’s just something I have to get out, if briefly:

Don’t watch the new Beauty and the Beast movie.

Seriously. Don’t.

I could write a whole essay on everything wrong with this movie, but I’m not going to do this here, because it would touch a lot of explosive subjects, such as feminism, misandrism and so on, which I do not want to make this blog about.

However, I feel the need to briefly express just how much I urge everyone reading this not to watch this piece of scat. It is easily the worst Emma Watson movie I have seen, for one. That is not, however, its greatest failing. Its greatest failing is that it insults anyone with at least two braincells to rub together. It is insulting to women, it is insulting a thousand times to men, it is insulting to anyone who enjoys fairy tales. Go watch Avatar: The Last Airbender, by Shamalayan. It may be utter scat, as well, but it’s at least not nearly as insulting as this.

I’m not writing this to spark a discussion, and I shall not likely ever go in-depth as to what I think is wrong with this; I’m just urging you to spend your money more wisely, instead of giving it to the people behind this. Go to your neighbor and pay them to watch their grass grow. Buy a Happy Meal and re-enact Nico’s attempt at summoning Bianca. Buy a blu ray of Batman v Superman.


Just don’t do anything that’d encourage people to make more movies like this. I beg you.


Tieshaunn Tanner

8 thoughts on “Neither Beast nor Beauty in this

  1. Doesn’t any good rant need the “why”? No one that didn’t see the movie really has any idea what you mean.

    • I might supply a ‘why’ after I’m finished with this chapter. That takes precedence.

      For now, this is just an emotional outburst, and should be taken as such.

  2. Streisand Effect. Pure morbid curiosity has me tempted.

    On the other hand, I am a massive cheapskate. There’s no way I’d watch it unless I pirated it.

  3. While I agree with you on the movie being shit, I have mixed feelings on its use of gender politics and politics. So Beauty and the Beast has and continues to present pretty clear theses. La Belle et la Bête was written as a fairytale to prepare young women for arranged marriage by proposing that love transforms what is thought to be evil or beastly.The fairytale basically began as a way to justify arranged marriages, which is why it seems to me to be a work that falls in the feminist/anti-feminist sphere of belief, and while they didn’t tell the fairytale in a way that was accurate to the initial telling (at a base level, you grow to love what you once resist, namely marriage; and at a deeper level, love transforms), I don’t think the 2017 adaptation fails to tell the truth of the story.
    In fact, I would argue that transforming Belle into a strong female protagonist (even if it means that Hollywood is playing with gender politics) is probably more appropriate to an audience and time period where women enjoy progress and independence that came after the eighteenth century. So while they’re maybe not preserving the story in a plot or detail-oriented fashion, Hollywood is communicating deeper truths in a way that is appropriate to the time period. A message about the transformative quality of love trumps a message about the comforts of subjugation and probably in the opinion of the times, but I believe that storytelling and literature are perceived in a subjective manner where truth is relative to the audience. I do think that certain details of the 2017 adaptation were eccentric, if not subtractive from the story. Even as a homosexual, I was fed up with the token gay, LeFou. There was a tad bit of misandry, but I was willing to overlook it. I could write a dissertation on cinematographic problems, and Emma Watson’s eccentricity. Don’t get me wrong, I love that lady, but she’s too much sometimes. I thought it was interesting, but not really worth seeing, and this is all just my two cents. Art is art, regardless of its quality, I think some good came out of a 160 million US dollar budget.

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